I Have Aspergers; What Should I Do?
When it first dawned on me that I had Aspergers, I wondered whether it was a curse to be got rid of, or whether it was just the way some people are, and whether I should just be happy to be the way I was. After all, I had the ability to be very focussed and solve complex problems, holding a lot in my head at once, and this clearly came out of the fact I was autistic (so I thought).
Leaving aside the fact that I asked God and he said I did need to become free of it, the thing that really swayed me was the effect it had on my wife: the sense of knowing that she would never be able to connect closely with me in the way that she had always sought and not found.
Remember, there is the condition itself: the impaired ability to read non-verbal communication, and then there are the resulting personality traits. We are talking about a healing of the underlying condition and an ongoing renewing of our minds, not a sudden personality change; though some things will change almost immediately.
If you are looking to be healed, then my recommendation is similar to what I said in the section about having a child with Aspergers: start by removing the spiritual obstacles. If you are from the UK, and possibly many other other places (e.g. commonwealth countries and the US) as well, then there is a high chance that the roots are in the practice of Freemasonry by your ancestors up to four generations back. This needs to be renounced, and it is best to go one of the specialised weekends organised by various organisations. The organisations that I know of in the UK than run these are (in no particular order):
If you have this ministry in your local church, then this is also good, and they will probably take you through a set of prayers similar to the ones that can be found online at Selwyn Stevens’ Jubilee Resources in New Zealand. However, I strongly recommend you don’t do this on your own, because the enemy of our souls hates this kind of thing, and will do everything he can to get you back in, trapped and discouraged.
It is vital that we have people around us who can keep an eye on us, pro-actively take an interest in our ongoing well-being and who are prepared to pay the cost of helping us through to full healing and deliverance. If you are a married man, then it will be your wife who most of this will fall to, and she will need the friendship networks who will understand and support her. This isn’t necessarily a home group or similar pre-organised grouping, though it may be. It is my experience that most people simply don’t understand what autism is about, and being caring but ignorant is not enough. They need to be educated, and that is what this website is primarily about.
If you are a hermit (and that is not intended as an insult) then you are going to need a lifestyle change. If you are single, live on your own and don’t have much contact with people, then this in itself will be a hindrance to you becoming healed. However, I am more than aware that you may be like this because of autism and the resulting rejection you will have experienced, so asking you to change is like asking you to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.
If you are in a church or known by one, then there is a good chance that your reading this is a result of someone who is praying for you. There may some kindly old lady who has had you on her heart for years, but you are not particularly aware of it (they may not be old or a lady, of course). If that is the case, then you are immediately on a winning streak.
Whatever your situation though, and however impossible it might seem, I have found there is a way of going about getting things from God that seems to bring success. It’s not that God is some sort of vending machine where you do the correct thing and out pops the result. It’s more that God is keener to give us our healing than we are to receive it, and in the times we live in there is a heavenly urgency for the Body of Christ to come to maturity. The key I have found is what I call incubation. When we are desperate for God to do something for us, usually because we are in some sort of pain, then we bring our case frequently before the Lord. In the meantime it is good to indulge in some holy fantasising. I used to imagine myself as being someone who was outgoing, and who could easily address and relate to a group of people. I used to run through scenarios, imagining myself being just like this. Sometimes I would get dreams at night where I was relating to people in ways I had never imagined, and this was God showing me what it would really be like. I was so saturated in this, that by the time God came to actually heal me, it seemed obvious and natural that God was going to do what I had been asking for. Looking back, it seems a bit strange that I became so convinced, but the thing we have to remember is that is God who dishes out the faith to believe like this. This faith comes form hearing what God is saying in the here-and-now. We may think we just imagine things on our own, but so often it is the Holy Spirit who gives us the inspiration and we are not even aware of it.
I have every confidence that if you are coming to understanding of what is involved in becoming healed of Aspergers, then God is on your case and your healing may be closer than you imagine. Keep pressing in, and seek to do whatever it takes and whatever God says!