How Did It Happen?

People like to hear a good story of a miracle which fills them with awe and wonder at the goodness of God. This is such a story, but it’s not a “praise God, hallelujah, isn’t God good, let’s move on to something else now” kind of story that you might hear briefly told in a healing meeting. Everybody likes a story with a happy ending, and this has one – I’m still around to tell the tale. But it doesn’t have a happy beginning or middle. For this reason I’ve tended to be reluctant to tell my story, for fear that people won’t really understand what it’s about or what I’ve been through.

In terms of the sequence of events, this is what happened. I had always known that there was something wrong with me, even though I was told that I was just like everyone else (I just needed to pull myself together and behave properly). But everyone else made friends and got on, yet that didn’t really work for me and I didn’t know why.

In the summer of 1997 we moved out to a larger house in one of the surrounding villages, and this is when things changed. In the autumn of that year I saw two television programmes about Aspergers Syndrome, and when watching the second one, the penny dropped. By the way, most people who have Aspergers don’t know it, and if you tell them, they don’t believe you. I explained it all to my wife, and by Christmas she was in the pits of despair, as she knew that this was at the root of all our problems, and Aspergers was incurable.

Then a friend of mine, who was dyslexic, explained to me how your ancestors sins affect you, and in particular the devastating effects that are often wrought upon the descendants of those who participate in the rituals Freemasonry. At that point I realised that this was behind why I was like I was. Then another friend of mine, who had (unofficially) taken it upon himself to carry me along spiritually, told us of someone in Leicester with a ministry in delivering people from the effects of Freemasonry. We (he, my wife and I) all went up together as we all have had Freemasonry in our ancestral lines.

We went through a lot of renouncing of the vows and curses that our ancestors had made. After that, the man’s wife prayed for me, and it was then that it happened; in an instant. It’s true that I did feel something lift off or come out of me, but there were no fireworks and I didn’t fall over, shake or make loud noises.

Looking back, there was the sense that a woolly blanket had been removed between the “inner me” and the “outer me”, if that makes any sense. You could use the terms conciousand subconscious , or soul and spirit . It’s that sort of thing I’m talking about. A woolly blanket muffles and also provides a sort of cushioning, but not against anything very hard or sharp. It was the muffling that I was most glad to be rid of.

It was the following Sunday in church that it really struck me just what had happened. As the worship started I noticed, to my astonishment, that large numbers of people were not fully engaged in the worship, and that their minds were elsewhere.

And it all went downhill from then on. That was in February 1998. Within a few months I had had another (yet another) business failure and I had decided to give up on life. I wanted out. I remained on the brink of suicide for several years, and this deeply impacted my wife and family. But it doesn’t end there.

You may find this all a bit puzzling. This is why I have written this website, and have gone to the trouble of explaining it all. Many people mistakenly believe that mental health problems can be cured instantly. To some extent that is true. I was healed instantly, but I needed healing of a lot more than just autism. That was the easy bit, but it opened a Pandora’s box of all the emotional wounding that had occurred due to having been autistic.

It is this sort of thing, I think, that lies behind the reason why a lot more people aren’t yet healed of autism – that is, it is God’s grace not allowing them to take more than they can bear without the necessary support. Read on to gain a much deeper understanding of what I’ve been through, and how much fuller healing has unfolded.